A friend of mine posted a link to a blog on facebook the other day and wanted to know everyones opinions about it. So I clicked the link and it sent me to a blog called Single Dad Laughing. Have you ever heard of it? I have and what I have read on it I have enjoyed. It's a daddy blog written by a single father.
Anyway his post was all about how women are constantly putting themselves down- I'm too fat, I'm not good enough, etc. He also points out how women are always told to just be confident in themselves and ignore what the magazines and media say they should look like. He then goes on to say it doesn't matter how much a women tries to ignore it, the fact is that is where men give their attention and in the end she will still seek for that ideal because that's what men have shone they want. By stopping and looking at the girl with the long legs or big chest or sneaking a peak at the magazines at the check out stand, men are sending the message that women need to be that way.
I found that to be a wonderful attitude for him to have. And even more he made a declaration to change the way he behaves and pleaded with other men to do the same. His thought was that if men stopped obsessing over those things it wouldn't matter to us women what the magazines say. If men like us how we are, we can be confident with it.
So do I agree with him? I have been blessed with a husband that tells me I'm beautiful every day. I can't say that I have never felt down about how I look because I have. I do have an ideal for myself, though it is not what the media says it should be, it's more just needing to lose that impossible baby weight. And because I am not at my ideal I do feel down on myself sometimes, but it is more out of frustration with myself. Never do I question whether or not my husband finds me beautiful and that is because he does everything he can to make me feel that way. So yes, I agree. If men could flirt with the short chubby girl just as much as the tall skinny one because of who she is on the inside, it could help improve the problem.
However, though I have respect for him to take responsibility for men as a whole, I do not believe it is 100% their fault. Women compare themselves to each other. I'm sure they did it long ago, they just didn't have the media to help escalate the problem. It's just a girl thing. We (and by we I mean a lot of us- I know there are exceptions) tend to judge ourselves against each other. That's just what we do and I honestly have no idea how to fix that.
Another thought that was sparked when I read his post was- if men can have that effect on women, couldn't the tables be turned. Don't women tend to throw themselves more at the guy with the biceps and ignore the one with the big nose. We want the strong looking, money making guy, not the geek who sits behind his computer all day. Haven't we created a stereotype for them too? Don't we also need to take some accountability for our part in our society's "image" problem?
Men have image issues too. They just don't make a public scene about it like women do. So women lets do our part. Let's stop thinking a man has to have a six pack to be a good companion. I know that most who read this are already married so the part about searching for a companion is already done. But what about our husbands. Let's do our part to lift them up. Make your husband feel proud of the job he does as provider, father, caretaker, husband, etc. Like my husband tells me everyday that I'm beautiful, tell your husbands everyday how wonderful and attractive they are to you. Let him know how proud you are of how hard he works; how great of a father he is; how much you love him and love to be with him. Tell him thanks for being yours.
And for those of you that are LDS- help him honor is priesthood! Tell him how proud you are that he holds the priesthood. And give him opportunities to use it for his family. Ask for blessings. Let him bless his family with this sacred power that he has work hard to attain. Out of all the ways that he can provide for his family- his priesthood is the most important and most valuable. Don't ever forget that.
If you'd like to read the whole post from Single Dad Laughing click here.